Living in quarantine meant a different thing to me before my experience with being positive for covid. Yes, there were times when I had to stay inside my room, I couldn’t see friends or go for a walk, but it was nothing compared to the state when I was sick. Before, I felt like this is the worst thing that could have happened to me, I felt anger and injustice – looking back now I didn’t appreciate the pure fact that I was healthy. I was too concerned with myself, my life and it felt hard for me to give up on certain things and make sacrifices. I saw no way out, just the restrictions repeating again and again. Well, I guess sometimes people are taking these things for granted, and to use big words, they need a greater event in their life to change their point of view.
To me this started on a day in February when I got tested positive for the virus. Here begins the story of my long term isolation. As my symptoms were showing up I started to worry and felt awful. I was stressing a lot about the situation. I lost control and freaked out. Could it get worse? If yes, to what extent? Will I be alone for a long time? And exactly this anxiety led me to practice meditation – in order to see things from a better perspective. It may sound banal, but I really needed to have a greater belief in good things. I felt the need to seek for positive things to ensure that at least my mental health is not at risk. So I kinda forced myself to meditate and look for the good in each day. It helped me disconnect and become more aware of my attention. By showing gratitude for all the small things in spite of my current state, I started to appreciate more the tiny details around me. By discovering the grateful side of me, the side who was able to see the beauty in the sun-rays that shined through the room each new day, I have come to the conclusion that I shouldn’t waste more time on finding something that is not okay and repeating the bad in my life. It just affects your mental health in a destructive way. During this period I realized how I think and how I feel creates my state of being. So why being so pessimistic? It will not help getting anywhere. Instead, with a positive mindset I could get stronger, both mentally and physically. The more I believed in getting through this and wired positive thoughts in my mind, the more I felt that there is a way out. There is hope. Soon the monotony of my days was disappearing as I started to see the lockdown as a great opportunity to change my mindset about how to be positive and how to work on self-awareness. My everyday thoughts were transformed, they were no longer referring to my fears, to the things that I don’t want in my life, but rather were filled with aspirations for the future. Suddenly I saw myself surrounded by the people I love, making future plans, connecting with them in a more profound way. It seemed such a realistic vision that it was impossible not to believe it! I clearly saw the things and relationships that I have and beyond feeling grateful, I had this idea that I have to appreciate and radiate more love to my surroundings. So I just wanted to meet again and let them know how important they are to me!
This shift in my philosophy made me see the world from a different point of view. Not only has it opened up my eyes, but it also gave me new possibilities and ambitions. I tried to tackle this situation of uncertainty with patience and gratitude. Well, it wasn’t always easy, to be honest. However, I got tons of love from the people around me (even virtually), so this amazing vibe helped me to set up my inner balance again. Parallelly, my health got better and after four weeks my test was finally negative.
I’m not saying that thinking positive must be a constant state of mind, and one must ignore all the bad that is happening. No, realizing what is wrong is essential too – as shitty things can still happen to you, – however, it is up to you whether you get stuck with the negative affirmations or can focus on the silver lining.