Horoscope May 2020

Horoscope May 2020



There were no flash mobs, no group facetime, no posts about 5G that I didn’t have a problem with. Keep being unconventional and going against popular opinion. Polemical.


De Luca

Since your degree is still far away, you join other people’s online parties, even though you’d like them to be live in order to join them with flamethrower. ‘Ncazzusu.


Albano and Romina

Rogue nostalgia! Nobody ever thought you could miss the coffee from the vending machine or the races to book the front row seats. You can’t wait to be able to do that again, in order to complain as you used to. Crybaby.


Mother yeast

All this social distancing is a blessing! With you being bashful and unavailable, you don’t even need to make up excuses when you don’t feel like hanging out. Untraceable.



Fitness, healthy lifestyle and all the demonstrations you have made for the readers. (???) You’re the first one to connect on Teams. You’ve started the second phase of your life and you’ve got everything right. A champion



God knows how busy you’ve been during this quarantine. You’re looking forward to starting your frenzied life again, just to relax a little bit. Your motto? “If happiness is around the corner, my life is a circle”. Stressed out



The Sports Life VS Your Chubby Challenge ends 1-10, and that 1 is because you got up off the couch to get the remote. This time it’s your scale asking for mercy. Careful.


Achille Lauro

“Now I do start studying seriously”. You’ve started repeating these words during the third year of high school, but you’ve never really tried. Please, don’t justify yourself saying that’s your neighbour’s fault who disturbs you everyday by singing Benji&Fede’s songs from his balcony. You’ve fallen for it again.



You live with the bare necessities, maximum output with the minimum effort. But if you boast because your CFUs are more than the showers you’ve done during the quarantine, for you  isolation has to go on. Stop sweating.


“We’ll make itttt” dude

Your optimism doesn’t have equals. Try to bring it to your exams, maybe it will turn into twentyeighptimism. If this joke has made you cry, it’s usual, it’s to make you used to the examination session. We can do it!!!


Matty the blond (I enjoy like a hedgehog)

About Money Heist? The house of paper is your house, looking to the number of exams that you want to prepare all together. Your hope to get at least a 19, but not the one of Covid. Remember you can always say it’s Uranus’s fault because this month it’s capricious. You’re reckless.


Findus sticks

you’ve been so much time at home that starting again will make you feel a fish out of water. With all the food you have eaten during this quarantine even if you were a codfish now you’re a globe-fish. Are you ready for the swimsuit season? Hey? Can you hear me? Anybody here?

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